Work Dialogue Trees

Sit Down (press A)

Access Laptop (press A)

Ignore E-mail (press A)

Co-Worker 1: Hi, Aravan, how are you today?

Options:

–          Just great, Co-Worker 1, and how are you?

–          Not bad, you?

–          Fuck off.

Aravan:  Fuck off.

 Co-Worker 1: Someone’s having a case of the Mondays, I see.  [ends]

Access Extranet (press A)

–          News

–          Sports

–          Gossip

Former ultraball champion Guy LaFeurve was indicted on multiple counts of –

Co-Worker 2: Hey Aravan.  I’m all stressed since I can’t figure out this problem.

Options:

–          That’s a shame.  Is there anything I can do to help?

–          Sorry to hear that.  Let me know if you stay stuck, I may be able to help later.

–          I hear ya.  Up to my ass in my own work too.

–          Fuck off.

Aravan:  I hear ya.  Up to my ass in my own work too.

Co-Worker 2:  (sighs) Well, let me tell you about the problem I’m working on, and maybe you can figure something out.

Options:

–          Is there anything I can do to help?

–          Let me know if you stay stuck, I may be able to help later.

–          Fuck off.

Aravan:  Fuck off.

Co-Worker 2:  I’m reporting you to Human Resources for not being mutual. [ends]

Access Extranet (press A)

Human Resources Bot:  Greetings Aravan.  I have heard a report of behaviors that fall outside of the company’s Principled Guidelines.

Options:

–          I’m sorry.  I wish to atone for my actions.

–          It’s been a rough day.

–          Fuck off.

Aravan: It’s been a rough day.

Human Resources Bot:  I understand.  However, this does not excuse you from behaving poorly towards one of your Teammates.

Options:

–          I regret that very much.  I should go apologize.

–          You’re right.  I need time to reflect.

–          Fuck off.

Aravan:  You’re absolutely right.  I think I should take some time and properly reflect on what I’ve done and how I can improve myself.

Human Resources Bot:  I think that is an excellent idea.  Come in tomorrow with a fresh attitude and a new perspective.

Renegade +2

Credits -250

Access Exit (press A)

About Alan Edwards

Cancer caregiver, writer, accountant, gamer, poolboy, and dispenser of terrible advice that should never under any circumstances be followed.

Posted on February 23, 2010, in Kerfluffle and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. HAHAHAHA!

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