Work Dialogue Trees

Sit Down (press A)

Access Laptop (press A)

Ignore E-mail (press A)

Co-Worker 1: Hi, Aravan, how are you today?

Options:

–          Just great, Co-Worker 1, and how are you?

–          Not bad, you?

–          Fuck off.

Aravan:  Fuck off.

 Co-Worker 1: Someone’s having a case of the Mondays, I see.  [ends]

Access Extranet (press A)

–          News

–          Sports

–          Gossip

Former ultraball champion Guy LaFeurve was indicted on multiple counts of –

Co-Worker 2: Hey Aravan.  I’m all stressed since I can’t figure out this problem.

Options:

–          That’s a shame.  Is there anything I can do to help?

–          Sorry to hear that.  Let me know if you stay stuck, I may be able to help later.

–          I hear ya.  Up to my ass in my own work too.

–          Fuck off.

Aravan:  I hear ya.  Up to my ass in my own work too.

Co-Worker 2:  (sighs) Well, let me tell you about the problem I’m working on, and maybe you can figure something out.

Options:

–          Is there anything I can do to help?

–          Let me know if you stay stuck, I may be able to help later.

–          Fuck off.

Aravan:  Fuck off.

Co-Worker 2:  I’m reporting you to Human Resources for not being mutual. [ends]

Access Extranet (press A)

Human Resources Bot:  Greetings Aravan.  I have heard a report of behaviors that fall outside of the company’s Principled Guidelines.

Options:

–          I’m sorry.  I wish to atone for my actions.

–          It’s been a rough day.

–          Fuck off.

Aravan: It’s been a rough day.

Human Resources Bot:  I understand.  However, this does not excuse you from behaving poorly towards one of your Teammates.

Options:

–          I regret that very much.  I should go apologize.

–          You’re right.  I need time to reflect.

–          Fuck off.

Aravan:  You’re absolutely right.  I think I should take some time and properly reflect on what I’ve done and how I can improve myself.

Human Resources Bot:  I think that is an excellent idea.  Come in tomorrow with a fresh attitude and a new perspective.

Renegade +2

Credits -250

Access Exit (press A)

About Alan Edwards

An indie writer who does accounting full-time on the side.

Posted on February 23, 2010, in Kerfluffle and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. HAHAHAHA!

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