Day 3

Whenever I start working out after any time off, whether it’s a week or 5 years, the third day of the program is the one I dread most.  It’s the worst day, hands down. 

Day 1 is rough.  Part of you wants to do it, part of you wants it to start tomorrow, which is why Day 1 can sometimes take weeks or years to actually end.  Ahh, you seductive minx, Tomorrow, how you promise everything will be much better then, how easy it’ll all be.  Once you get past that, though, it generally isn’t too bad.  Sure, you might struggle through the workout, things that you did so easily before might leave you panting and grunting, but when it’s over, it’s over.  You feel good.

Day 2 is a little harder.  Those muscles that you hadn’t been using?  Yeah, they’re all sore now.  You’re a little stiff, but not too badly, not yet.  Instead, it’s that feeling of good, I-accomplished-something-yesterday soreness, the best kind.  A few minutes into the routine, your muscles are all warm again, the soreness and ache is gone, and your back on track.  Again, you get out of breath quicker, your muscles hit fatigue faster, but still, the pain is generally better.

Day 3.  Oh, dear god, Day 3.  It really starts as you go to bed on Day 2, the little squeal of aching muscles juuuuust before your butt hits the chair, or when you stand up.  It’s a little taste of things to come, but it’s more of a tease.  It hints, but it doesn’t reveal all of itself: it’s waiting for the right moment.  It’s like Medusa doing a strip-tease in a veil: You know it’s going to be bad, but until you are actually turning into stone, your mind cannot comprehend what is going to happen to you.

I felt like I was halfway to petrification when I woke up this morning.  Alarm going off (it’s the sound of waves breaking on the shore – I think if I ever get woken up by one of those BRANG BRANG BRANG alarm clocks again I’ll shred that plastic cacophony apart with my bare hands) and I try to get up.  Ooof.  My hamstrings and glutes feel locked, steel cables jammed in their pulleys and no way to get WD-40 to them.  Back is stiff, arms sore.  I hate you, Day 3.  I even briefly think of going back to bed, but that is the kiss of death.  It’s like drinking your hangover away – you are going to pay the price eventually, and if you don’t get it over with, the price gets higher and higher.

Lady Aravan is up anyway, so I know I’m locked in.  I groan like an old man as I sit, and that’s exactly how I feel.  Get dressed sitting down, only raising my butt an inch to get my shorts on before flopping back down.  Our youngest dog Lili presses against my leg, tail thumping excitedly, since me being awake equals her getting fed.  Stand up.  Oh, ouch.  I head downstairs.

Mix together our protein shakes (today its vanilla whey protein mixed with orange-flavored sugar-free Metamucil.  It’s like an Orange Julius, but packed with fiber.  I am not sure what it says about me that this has become a treat) and get the water.  All three dogs get excited by the ice dispenser, and we dole out an ice cube to each of them as a treat, which makes them happy.  I am not.  I am grunting inarticulate answers to my Lady’s questions and comments.  Feed the girls, fill up the water bowl, and there is nothing else I can do to postpone it.

I am wrapped in my own cloud of misery, but Lady Aravan has a headache.  Ouch.  I couldn’t work out with a headache, I don’t think.  I get bad ones, but they are thankfully rare.  When I get them there is little I can do except lay down until they go away.  She isn’t backing down though.  More power to her – I don’t think I could have in her place.  She’s an ass-kicker though.

We decided on Jillian’s Banish Whatever and Something Else cardio video, since we snoozed once this morning, meaning that the 68+ minutes of Bob’s strength video is a no-go, and neither of us can face the prospect of Bob’s cardio and its swings today.  Lady Aravan’s lower back – her “swing muscles” as she refers to them – is sore, and I can’t imagine trying to squat that many times today.

Part of the warm-up involves bending down to touch your hand to your opposite toe.  Ha.  We both get to – maybe – our knee the first few times.  I loosen up a little, finally and painfully, but Lady Aravan is still too stiff for it.  The workout for her is rough, as the heart starts beating hard and it redoubles itself as a throb in her head.  She takes more breaks than normal, but still not many, and pushes through it all with Amazing (50) Endurance.  Any bitching I might do about being sore is swallowed by the prospect of what she’s going through, so I shut up and just power through.

Finally, it’s done.  The cooldown and stretch shows just how much flexibility I’ve lost in a short time, but I still feel good.  Day 3 is over.  The Worst Day is behind us.  Smooth – well, smoother – sailing lies ahead. 

My glutes are still really sore, though.

About Alan Edwards

An indie writer who does accounting full-time on the side.

Posted on September 30, 2010, in Kerfluffle and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Yea! Day #3 of the Back on Track Tour….brutal, eh? That is one reason I can’t stray even when my mind is telling me over and over….just take a day off, it won’t matter, just think of all the other shit you can get done, Bob is not going to “know” you blew it off and damn it, to be honest, a beer sounds like something I kind of want for breakfast today… Somehow, I fight the urge and pop in the disc, cringe, sigh, roll my eyes and we are off! Swing, swing, swing, squat, squat, HOLD, and worst of all, the dreaded handwalks with the scorpion push-up combo. Yep, my life of pain by choice.

    Hope you and Lady A feel better for day 4. I have never done the Jillian workout you all are doing. Like I said I am not a big fan of hers. Did the Shred but really didnt like it much, was not what I was looking for in a trainer. I watched Biggest Loser online yesterday and to be honest I have never really watched the show that made these two trainers famous. Wow. Made me cringe alot. I cannot imagine being huge, HUGE. Dang. Made me glad I workout hard everyday, granted I tend to play hard too, so I am sure Bob and the crew would be schooling me a bit as well.

    There is this sore muscle stuff called BioFreeze that I got a year or so ago that works awesome. Way better then that BenGay junk. Might help the Lady A with the sore back and you with the whole body soreness. Word to the wise though, wash your hands good after applying…that stuff burns.

    Maybe tommorrow you will get the call from Bob that he is coming to visit and take inventory of your morning routine. That would be super cool!
    Hang in there!

  2. The workouts that we still do of hers are No More Trouble Zones and Banish Fat and Boost Metabolism, along with a five-disc series called the Biggest Winner. The first 2 are 50 minutes long (including warm-up and cooldown) and not bad. I get annoyed at times but both are a decent workout. The BW series are about 25 minutes long each, and are pretty good cardio workouts – we’ll do two of them back to back, or do one along with yoga or something like that.

    The Biggest Loser kinda opened my eyes to what a real challenge would be. Like you said, those people are a size I’m not capable of reaching, but seeing them lose the weight kind’ve gave me less excuses for not losing the thirty or so I needed to drop to be where I wanted to be. We haven’t watched it in a couple years – when they made it a 2-hour show fixated on the host asking people questions to make them cry we lost interest.

    I can’t even imagine meeting Bob, let alone how much of a lunatic he probably is first thing in the morning. I’m a bit of a surly riser, so it’d be interesting to see my facial expressions if nothing else, heh.

    • I think I may have sounded a bit like an ass in my first comment (having a bad day…). I actually lost a lot of weight myself a few years back, nothing near the Biggest Loser stuff, but about 40+ lbs., nothing near what these people do in 2 days. I give those folks tons of credit, I could never do it…I could workout like that, but I could not stand on a scale in my underwear for all to see. Never.

      I betcha that you get the call for that Bob H contest. You are savvy and funny and smart. That is what a company is looking for.

      Keep working hard guys!

      • One last thing. If you are a true Geekasaurus Rex, then you know this album:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Wayne's_Musical_Version_of_The_War_of_the_Worlds

        If you haven’t heard it yet, download it. Jeff Wayne’s War of the World’s is so sweet, you will love it.

      • I didn’t think you sounded like an ass at all, but sorry for the bad day! Hopefully today can be better.

        Thankfully, the soreness abated today, as usual, but it was still hard to wake up.

        I have never heard of the War of the Worlds musical, but I’ll check it out. I tend to, uh, avoid anything like musicals for the most part – Dr. Horrible and the musical episode of “Buffy” are the only forms of the genre I’ve found that I tolerate so far. But, I try to keep an open mind!

        Happy Friday!

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