My Favorite Google Searches That Brought People Here

WordPress has a handy feature that shows whatever search terms people have typed into Google and managed to end up on your blog.  I always look through them out of curiousity, and for the most part they revolve around Bob Harper stuff, which stands to reason, I guess, since there don’t seem to be a metric ton of them elsewhere on the internet.

The other search terms, though, are the ones that I get interested in.  Here is my list of my favorite search terms that have somehow landed some poor person onto my corner of cyberspace.

“don’t know what to do with a man”

I love that one, since there is no way in hell anyone could ever figure that out by reading anything I’ve ever written.

“lick my bob”

Uhhh….wha?

“20 pound shovel throo my windo”

That certainly sounds like a problem, but there is no way to know if the person was looking for a good place to brag.

“my boss yelled at me that my handwriting is horrible”

I can only imagine the circumstances that forced someone to type all of that out into Google.  A cry for help?  Seeking after people with similar problems?  NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

“lady drop and give me 20 pushups.com”

I have no idea what would pop up at that particular url, but I do know that I don’t want to see it.

“did michael vick have sex with dogs?”

Why, yes.  Yes he did.

“why am i doing this to myself”

Maybe, just maybe, you should be a little more specific on that particular search.

“hate overly pretentious food”

You and me both, you and me both.  I hope you had luck in finding other people who agree with you.

“where is the shovel in fable 3”

I love this one because it happened more than once.  I never knew that it was such a burning issue.

About Alan Edwards

An indie writer who does accounting full-time on the side.

Posted on January 28, 2011, in Kerfluffle and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Those are nuts! Real people google shit like that? Yikes! And as always with people doing insane online searches – nice spelling. I bet you could put those together and have a nifty little CSI episode, invloving a submissive guy named “Drop and Give Me 20” Bob who threw a large shovel thru a window after his boss went on a rampage over his spelling.

    I am so glad I do not have a “Who The F*ck Are These Fools” feature on my computer. I would probably have canceled my internet connection by now.

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